Blue World
by addict-writer
Summary: In a desperate bid to keep his younger partner satisfied, Brian turns to one of the wonder drugs for men. How does it affect Brian? What happens when Justin finds out?


**Many thanks to eureka1 for helping with beta'ing this story, and of course, to Queen Tuneesha for coming up with this fabulous idea! I hope you like how it turned out.**

* * *

"The new theme night is a hit!" Kyle, the bartender at Babylon, told Brian, offering him the usual glass of Beam.

Brian leaned an elbow against the counter, grinning. "You only love it because I allowed the go-go boys to dance on the bar. Which I still doubt was a good idea." He saved his drink just in time, before one of the dancers could kick it over.

"And they're wearing speedos. It's the hottest thing Babylon has seen since Studs and Suds."

Brian narrowed his eyes at Kyle, making the man stutter an apology, quickly dismissed by a flick of Brian's hand. "You're right. Showing more skin is always better." His eyes raked over the closest go-go dancer, who was undulating his slim hips to the music.

"Hey, boss. When's Justin due home?" Kyle asked, pouring more whiskey into Brian's now empty glass.

"You know how to ruin a man's fun, don't you?" he sighed loudly. "He should be back by the end of the week - three more days. We've been separated before, but after getting used to having him close for the past fifteen years…. it's been terrible. Three months have felt like a lifetime."

"I bet you have plans for this weekend."

Brian downed his glass, laughing. "Yeah, none of which include leaving the bedroom. For a year." His eyes travelled back to the dancer in front of him.

Noticing the direction of Brian's gaze, Kyle suggested, "I bet Justin won't mind if you slip up. You must be horny as hell."

"You have no idea." Brian preferred to keep to himself that the reason he wasn't sinking his dick in the nearest asshole was that he was exclusive with Justin. Most people had heard the rumor, but no one believed it.

Brian figured, though, that there was no harm in watching. He stared at the almost bare ass shaking in front of him, and the bulge in the speedos pumping to the rhythm of the music. His hand travelled to his dick, squeezing, his eyes never leaving the boy.

When nothing happened, Brian figured his dick had forgotten how to function since it hadn't been getting any action. With that thought in mind, he went to the middle of the dance floor, where he was surrounded by sweaty, hot queers. He started dancing, allowing others to touch him, to get so close that it would be impossible for him to stay soft.

A few songs later, when a hand brushed over his still flaccid dick, Brian slapped that hand away, marching out of the club.

He was freaking out. With Justin on the other side of the country, working on a mural for a museum, he hadn't thought much about sex. They'd managed phone sex a few times at first, but then with both of them tired from long days at work, their late night calls had revolved around other things - how their days had gone, how their friends were doing, the cat climbing onto the roof and Brian having to rescue it, Justin making sure Brian ate something other than takeout - the usual.

 **oOo**

At home, Brian dug out his favorite porn stash. He settled on the sofa, lube and tissues nearby, ready to relieve some tension.

The DVD started, and Brian couldn't help but smile. Obviously, his favorite porn was homemade, with Justin and Brian starring.

Justin's face appeared on the flat screen, so close to the camera that he could see every freckle. Brian had forgotten about this particular DVD. Their first ever homemade porn.

" _I think it's on?"_ Justin's uncertain voice made Brian laugh, remembering how intrigued his husband had been with their new toy. The camera had been the newest model, the user's manual for pussies. They had figured it on their own.

" _It is on!"_ Brian heard his own voice snapping from the background. _"Look at the little red light blinking."_

" _But red means it's not working."_

There was a click, and Brian remembered discovering the small flip-up screen on the back of the camera that showed what they were filming.

" _Step away. You're fogging the camera, Justin."_

The on-screen Justin stepped back, the camera having lowered to his semi-hard dick.

" _Hey!"_ Justin had hidden himself behind a sofa cushion. _"Asshole!"_

The on-camera Brian's tsk-ed, the image having blurred a little when he'd set the camera on the tripod. _"You're supposed to be naked, Sunshine. We're gonna fuck."_

" _I think I have performance anxiety."_

" _Don't be a twat. Ignore the camera."_

Brian watched his naked self appear. He'd chucked away the cushion, hugging Justin. The whispered words couldn't be heard, but he knew what he'd told Justin, _"I'm gonna fuck you so hard."_

Justin's only answer had been a loud moan.

Brian had backed him to the sofa, where Justin had lain down, pulling Brian down on top of himself and kissing him wetly. Their hands had roamed all over each other's bodies as their hips had rocked into each other.

Watching the hot scene before him, Brian sighed in relief when his dick stirred in his palm. He poured out some lube and gave it a few leisurely strokes, watching his younger self prepping Justin for what had turned out to be a memorable fuck.

The older Brian kept his eyes glued to the screen, his hand moving steadily on his dick, as the onscreen Brian placed Justin's calves over his shoulders and buried himself deep inside, pumping, sweat dripping from his hair onto Justin's face. His dick had been harder than it was right now, but Brian could work with the state it was in. Before he could feel the first real surges of arousal, though, his dick deflated in his hand.

With their combined moans and the sounds of skin slapping against skin in the background, Brian stared in horror at his uncooperative cock.

Not one to give up easily, he kept pumping to the point it hurt and his skin was raw. By the time the homemade video ended, Brian felt his toes curling into the soft carpet as a short stream of cum poured out of him onto his leg. He'd come more than enough times to know it wasn't a real orgasm. He'd merely ejaculated, which left him completely drained and unsatisfied.

Justin couldn't return fast enough to make it all better.

 **oOo**

The next day at work, while he was preparing for the meeting with Remsen Pharmaceuticals, he stopped to stare at the storyboards.

Slidenafil. Widely known as Viagra.

Kinnetik was going to help Remsen promote both sides of the drug - Revatio, which helped with cardiovascular disease, and Viagra, which treated erectile dysfunction. It was still an enigma to Brian why there were two drugs when they used the same substance at root.

His teams had outdone themselves with the campaign. In one of the pictures, there was a man frowning, holding a hand to his forehead. Above him were two bubbles - in one of which was a white, round pill and, in the other, a blue, diamond-shaped pill.

The options clearly indicated that Revatio, widely used to treat pulmonary arterial hypertension - a condition of the heart and lungs resulting in increased blood pressure on the lungs - required a daily regimen of treatment, while Viagra had a more singular use and was to be taken with caution. The storyboards provided all the necessary information about both drugs, and those for Viagra included all too rarely emphasized warnings.

During the meeting, Brian couldn't help but think that he, too, might need the blue pill. As soon as the thought entered his brain, a dozen questions about it exploded in his mind.

Was it time to think of such humiliating solutions? He wasn't that old, but seeing as not even the homemade porn had made him hard...

Maybe it was something worse? He'd have to visit his doctor to make sure he was healthy, because he'd slacked in his usual visits to the oncologist.

He couldn't decide which thought was more horrid. Justin would be devastated by either possibility.

When the meeting wrapped up and Brian was left alone with Remsen in the meeting room, they kept talking. Remsen even offered him steep discounts on the drugs for himself and his friends, should they ever be needed.

"I could leave you a sample of our new Viagra, if you'd like. I admit, I tested it myself, and my wife has been nothing but pleased."

"Why, Remsen, I had no idea you needed it!" Brian teased, keeping his tone light, trying not to show how offended he felt at being offered that pill.

Remsen laughed. "I don't need it, Kinney! Don't tell me you haven't tried it for recreational use."

Brian grinned, transported many years ago when he and Justin had stolen from Ted's Viagra and fucked for hours on end.

"Okay, I might take you up to that."

To his surprise, Remsen, handed him a bag with a dozen boxes of Viagra. One box had four pills. That meant he had enough to keep Justin satisfied for a long, long time.

 **oOo**

Before Justin's arrival on Friday night, Brian had squeezed in a visit to his oncologist and, after paying him a hefty fee, had received his results by the end of the same day. He was as healthy as a horse.

His doctor had directed him to one of his colleagues, though, and Brian knew what that meant. He refused to hit rock bottom and listen to a white coat telling him his dick wasn't working properly anymore.

On Friday after work, Brian went home to change out of his suit before getting his husband from the airport. In a hurried decision, he opened one of the boxes from Remsen. Washing down the pill with a glass of water, he got in the car and drove to the airport.

By the time Justin arrived in the waiting area, Brian felt hot all over and he was hard as a rock He barely had time to open his arms before Justin dropped his bags and wrapped himself around Brian. Their lips met halfway, noses bumping, hands roaming all over.

"God, I missed you!" Justin breathed his man in, combing his fingers through Brian's hair. "You okay? You look a little flushed."

"Just glad to have you back in my arms."

Justin bucked his hips into Brian. "I can tell you're glad to see me. Can't wait to have your dick back in me. That stupid dildo I got didn't help at all!"

Grabbing Justin's bags in one hand, and Justin's hand in the other, Brian walked them to the car. Justin got into the passenger seat of their SUV, while Brian threw the bags in the back. When he climbed behind the wheel, he turned to smile at Justin, reaching over to stroke his cheek. "I missed you so much."

"Stop talking and get us home so we can fuck."

Brian was so horny, he wasn't thinking right, or he wouldn't have lowered Justin's seat and climbed on top of him.

"Whoa, Stud!" Justin made a weak attempt at pushing Brian off himself before embracing the way his lover felt on top of him. His fingers went to Brian's jeans, unbuttoning them, before pushing them down Brian's ass. Justin squeezed Brian's erection, marveling at how hard his husband was.

"Mmmhmm..." Brian grunted, bucking into Justin's touch.

"Are you serious? You wanna fuck here?"

"It wouldn't be the first time we've done it in the airport parking lot."

Justin grinned. "Ah, the memories!" While Justin had been in New York and had visited Brian, they'd ended up fucking in the car many times before heading back to the loft or, later on, to Britin.

It took a lot of wriggling around for Justin to free one of his legs from his khakis so Brian would have better access to his ass. Brian all but ripped the boxers off Justin, then stuck two saliva-coated fingers into his ass.

"Holy shit!" Justin's back arched. "Fuck me, Brian! Fill me with your big dick. I missed it more than I missed you."

Brian huffed, slapping a hand to Justin's side. Once he was sure Justin was sufficiently prepared, he pushed inside him. Brian expected to explode the second he felt Justin's tight ass sucking him in, but the pill was known to help achieve long-lasting erections.

He fucked him so hard and fast that, although aware the car was rocking, he didn't give a flying fuck about it.

Justin came twice before Brian spilled inside him, still thrusting slowly, riding the much-needed orgasm.

Justin keened, the hand he'd plastered against the foggy window slipping down with a squeak, before slapping onto Brian's sweaty back.

"You killed me."

"I'm not done with you yet," Brian grunted into his neck.

"I can feel that," Justin said, amazed. "You're still hard."

Brian smirked, pulling out and wiping himself with the shredded boxers before cleaning Justin. Getting back into his seat, he buttoned up his jeans, rearranging his erection. If last time, when he hadn't needed the pill, the effect had lasted throughout the day until his mother appeared unannounced and unwanted at his door, Brian was curious how long it would last this time around.

Once at home, while waiting for the food they'd ordered on the way, they enjoyed round two and round three. The first one had been against the door and the other one on the stairs. Then the food arrived and, when they finished eating, Justin went to prepare a bath for them.

Brian hadn't initially been a fan of the bathtub. He'd bought it only because Justin had insisted when they'd furnished the house. Over time, he'd discovered the advantage of the bathtub - fucking Justin in there was the hottest thing he'd ever experienced in the bathroom. Their epic shower scenes were nothing compared to sex in the tub.

Sliding into the bathtub behind Justin, Brian wrapped his arms around his husband, kissing the nape of his neck.

"Remind me to never again accept such an extensive project so far away from you." Justin sank lower in the water, leaning against Brian's chest.

"I won't allow you to leave for longer than a couple of days. Same goes for my business trips."

"Great. It's settled. And if one of us has to be somewhere for a longer period of time, the other will visit or go along."

Brian sighed. "I tried to visit, you know that, but every time... something came up. It's not my fault most of my clients wanted to renew their contracts during the time you were away or, the time I was sure I had a window of a few days to see you, the police raided Babylon and found that underage twink go-go boy."

"I'm sure you were under a lot of stress," Justin said softly, twisting around and pressing his chest against Brian's. "Don't worry, I plan to relax you." He kissed Brian's neck, nipping at the skin, slowly making his way down until he reached the water. With one hand on Brian's leg, he found the brunet's dick with the other and squeezed. "Up for one more?"

"You tell me." Brian laughed.

Justin stroked his dick, smiling at his lover. "It's a miracle you're still hard." He blushed, caressing Brian's cheek, "We haven't fucked so much in the span of a few hours in a long time. I guess you really missed me."

"Thank God you didn't mention my age."

"It crossed my mind, but you have to admit, I still have a way with words."

"And I still have my way with you." Brian grabbed Justin's hips, helping him sink onto his dick. "Go on, ride me. I know you secretly love topping from the bottom."

"Fuck off! Oh, shit!"

Brian knew his thrusts were touching Justin's prostate when his blue eyes crossed, glazing over. Justin bounced on top of him, chasing his release, while Brian dug his fingers into his own thighs, holding his orgasm at bay. He was aware that this might be the last time he came that night.

Four times in as many hours, however, was more frequently than he'd fucked Justin in years. Once he'd reached forty, his stamina hadn't been the same, but when he'd crossed the next milestone, Brian had hated to admit that twice a day was all he could do. He'd made up for it by blowing Justin, keeping him distracted so he wouldn't realize by how much the fucks had decreased.

While Brian was now fifty-five, an age he once hadn't dreamed of reaching, Justin was in his prime at forty-three. Still young and ready to fuck as much as ever.

 **oOo**

In the weeks following Justin's return, Brian popped a blue pill every day, enjoying his sex life as much as when he'd met Justin all those years ago.

He'd made sure to read all the cons about overuse of Viagra, but so far he had discovered only good things about it. Studies behind such regular use included the belief that the drug increased libido, improved sexual performance, and permanently enlarged penis size. Most of that was true, but while Brian wasn't so sure about the last claim, Justin had said something about him feeling bigger the other night. He really couldn't believe it, although having a larger penis didn't sound half bad.

In his quest for information, he found something worth testing. Combining Viagra with ecstasy, resulted in "sextasy", "rockin' and rollin'", or "trail mix", promising to bring the user to new heights during sex. It was contraindicated to take Viagra with poppers, though, which didn't make sense.

Brian was surprised he hadn't discovered this earlier but was ready to test the theory.

 **Babylon tonight?** Brian sent Justin a text message while working on a new account. The next time he checked his phone, he had an affirmative answer from Justin and a time to meet at the club.

Brian arrived half an hour before the agreed-on time, using it to track down his favorite drug dealer. After scoring the best E the man had, he went to the bar, where Kyle handed him his usual shot of Beam.

Not thinking, Brian downed it, then two more. He also washed down a Viagra with his last glass of Beam.

When Justin arrived, he was accompanied by their friends. Brian didn't bother with socializing, just waved hello and then took Justin by the arm. He was ready to experiment. Ever since he'd started taking the blue pills, it felt like he'd rediscovered sex, and it was better than he remembered.

"Whoa! I figured we'd have a drink before you dragged me to the backroom," Justin shouted over the music.

"Not headed there yet," Brian yelled back, stopping in the middle of the dancing bodies.

They moved against each other effortlessly, creating their own dance, as usual.

Brian popped an E into his mouth, making Justin's eyes narrow but, before he could comment, Brian caught his lips in a deep kiss. Justin tongue ensnared Brian's, so he tasted the pill too. As they kissed, the pill dissolved on both their tongues.

"It's been years," Justin said against Brian's lips.

"Figured we'd chase our lost youth." Brian grinned, grabbing two handfuls of Justin's ass and lifting him up. "I'm ready to fuck you until you pass out."

Justin claimed Brian's mouth in a searing kiss, then slowly pulled away, leaving a trail of spit between them, only to kiss it away a moment later. "Dunno what to say, Bri, but you're still The Stud." Justin's hand travelled to Brian's dick, making Brian tense up.

For a second, he wanted to pull away, afraid Justin would feel his soft dick, but to his surprise, he started hardening when Justin fondled him. It was the first time since he'd started taking the pill that he thought that maybe he was alright, and not getting hard had only been a glitch after all. With Justin back, he was constantly hard, and Brian wasn't sure if it was Justin's usual effect on him or the blue pill. He'd have to test the theory. But that was something to do over the weekend, considering that tonight he was under the influence of Viagra and Ecstasy.

The lights were brighter than usual, the music louder. Justin's touch felt amazing, and Brian let himself enjoy everything. After dancing until they were sweaty and horny as hell, Brian pulled Justin toward the backroom. They hadn't visited the place in years, preferring to go home and be as loud and kinky as they pleased.

The smells and sounds of sex permeated the room, ratcheting their libido higher. Instead of leading Justin toward the back of the room, Brian stopped at the first alcove, turning him around and undoing his pants. It helped that Justin had prepared himself, the way Brian loved to find him when he was ready to fuck.

Justin gasped when, instead of probing fingers, he got Brian's dick deep inside him. He scraped uselessly at the grime on the wall, trying to find a handhold, while Brian pumped into him like a starving man, moaning like an exultant whore.

Justin was surprised Brian would let go with such wild abandon. He rarely let his guard down in public, though Justin knew how loud Brian could get when it was just the two of them. Their fuck grabbed other people's attention; most likely, everyone was surprised to see Brian Kinney so far gone and into servicing his man.

When Justin came, he slumped against the wall but didn't have time to recover, because Brian turned him around, lifting him up until the blond's legs wrapped around his waist, and then dove back inside, still hard.

"Fuck, Brian! Oh, shit!"

Justin filed away their fuck-a-thon in the backroom as a side-effect from the E. He could clearly remember how wild Brian got when he took that pill.

After three rounds in the backroom, they joined their friends at the bar, but didn't stay long when Brian's wandering hands got Justin all horny again. They went home and fucked until dawn, when they fell asleep, exhausted.

Brian was pleasantly surprised, yet mildly alarmed when he woke up in the afternoon with wood. He hadn't so frequently woken up with a hard-on since his early thirties. Thankful Justin was still asleep, he played it to his advantage.

He made breakfast and brought it to the bed, before waking up his husband with kisses and caresses. Justin didn't question the erection poking into his side, choosing to go down on Brian, giving his ass a break.

 **oOo**

The stock of Viagra was decreasing rapidly, and Brian discarded his dignity, writing Remsen a lengthy email, in which he explained that he'd found some individuals who wanted to test the new version of drug and asked if he could send more to Brian's address.

Remsen's reply was enthusiastic, even suggesting trimestrial delivery if necessary.

Brian responded with a grateful email, agreeing to delivery every three months.

He was aware he'd become dependent of the drug and that he would more strongly feel the side-effects as more time passed. He'd become reliant on the pill, though, and wasn't ready to stop taking it.

The flush was always present for a while after he took the Viagra but, thankfully, Justin had stopped questioning it, probably putting it down to over-excitement.

The other adverse effect he suffered was headaches, more frequent in the past few days than before. He'd gotten used to taking an Advil or Tylenol with his Viagra.

Not taking the blue pill proved to be a bad idea.

When Brian had decided to test his theory of not needing the Viagra, the outcome had been disastrous. He'd been inspired enough to allow Justin to top him at the time, with Brian lying face down on the bed. When Justin had tried to wrap his hand around his dick, Brian had told him it wasn't necessary, that he'd come already. A big fat lie, which had left Brian unsatisfied and more terrified than ever in his life.

In the past when he'd been through radiation to treat his cancer, not getting it up had felt like the end of the world, even though he'd known it wouldn't be permanent. This time around, it was permanent. He couldn't get an erection without the blue pill, which angered him to no end.

If he had the balls to discuss it with Justin, they're probably find another way...somehow. But Brian was too ashamed to even admit to himself that his dick, his prize and glory, was malfunctioning. His Stud of Liberty Avenue days were long gone, but he still had a much younger partner at home whom he had to keep satisfied. Unless he wanted to become a dedicated bottom and not a slave to Viagra, he had to think of another way to achieve erections without the blue pill's aid.

One day, when Brian was getting antsy because he had only five pills left and Remsen's first delivery was nowhere in sight, he decided to swallow his pride and search the Internet for an alternative. He was ready to go to the first drugstore and buy a box, but there had to be another option.

His hands shook as he typed _treatment for impotence_. Scowling at the words he'd written, he pushed the Enter button. Many results popped on his screen.

Besides the magic pill, Brian discovered a cream under the brand name Vitaros. He could use it as lube, without Justin knowing, though he had to further investigate how it might affect his partner when it came into contact with his sensitive anal tissue.

There was also a product called Alprostadil which could be administered as urethral suppositories or as injections. The first option made him cringe, wondering if it felt anywhere near as terrible as it seemed. He'd tried sounding in his younger years and enjoyed it, but this was another matter altogether. As for the second option, he wasn't even going to think of where he would have to inject himself.

Having discovered there were other options, Brian devoted his time to searching for alternatives to Viagra. By the end of the day, he'd ordered the cream, choosing the least painful method from the three possibilities.

To his surprise, Brian also found out that dick pumps helped with erectile dysfunction, which was hilarious. He and Justin had used them in the past to enhance sensation.

 **oOo**

When Brian was down to two pills, his cream arrived.

The effect didn't last as long, only for one go, but that meant one satisfactory round of sex.

It had been about two weeks since Brian's conversation with Remsen about sending him more pills, and Brian had almost forgotten about it. He was at work, third cup of coffee in hand, pouring over his schedule for the upcoming month. He had five business trips planned. One of them was to Florida and was scheduled toward the end of November; Brian figured he'd ask Justin to go along so they could enjoy the White Party while there.

There was a loud ruckus in the hallway but, before Brian could get up to investigate what was going on, a livid Justin slammed open the door to his office.

Brian hadn't seen his partner so angry in years. Justin shoved the door shut with his foot before advancing to Brian's desk, where he deposited a small brown shipping box with a loud thunk. He planted his hands on either side of it, eyes fixed on Brian's. "You complete asshole!"

"Okay, what have I done now?" Brian pushed his chair back but didn't get up.

"How could you do this to me?" Justin yelled, tears pooling in his eyes.

"What the fuck, Justin?" Brian exclaimed as he espied the label on the box - Remsen Pharmaceuticals - making his heart stop for a moment. He'd given Remsen his home address instead of Kinnetik's.

"It was too good to be true! Do you think I'm stupid? Ever since I came back from San Francisco... everything has been perfect. Too perfect."

"How did you know?"

Justin's eyes widened. "Is that how long you've been taking this shit?" A sob escaped his lips, as Justin slumped into a chair, a few tears rolling down his cheek.

"I stopped taking them a few weeks ago," Brian whispered.

"Figures..." Justin mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Justin shot up, sniffling. "It means you're the worst human being alive! Couldn't you fucking tell me you don't find me attractive anymore? Did you have to go take that stupid pill to keep me satisfied? But not even taking that helped, huh? You stopped taking it...which proves you're really sick of me."

Brian gaped at Justin, trying to comprehend what his husband was saying.

"It's all my fault, isn't it? I tied you down. You wanted to be free… I wanted marriage."

"Stop!"

"No, listen to me. Even though we've never discussed it, I don't care if you start tricking again. We can go back to condoms. Please...as long as I still have you." Justin eyed him pleadingly.

"Justin, what the fuck are you talking about?" Brian rounded his desk, taking Justin in his arms. "I love you. I only want you!"

"Yeah. Because taking Viagra shows how much you want me."

"Exactly!" Brian nodded, suddenly feeling slightly woozy. He gripped Justin's shoulders for stability.

Unaware of Brian's lightheaded feeling, Justin pulled away, grabbing two fistfuls of Brian's suit jacket, shaking him.

"How much do you hate me? Why do you have to hurt me like this? You took the pills to get it up around me because you got bored with me! This is the lowest I've felt in my life!"

Brian tried to shake free of Justin's grasp, leaning his ass against his desk and wheezing. He wasn't sure what was happening. He'd had similar symptoms in the past few days, but never so severe.

"You're not even denying it!" Justin continued but stopped his rant when he saw how pale Brian had become and that he was clutching at his chest. "Brian?"

Brian narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh, now you care?"

"What? What's going on?"

With the little strength he had left, Brian flicked the box off his desk, causing all the pill boxes to spill out.

"I took it for you, Twat! I was too embarrassed to admit..."

Justin's eyes moved from Brian's ashamed face to his groin, then back up in time to see Brian cringing in pain.

"Brian?" He helped him sit, grabbing the phone receiver from Brian's desk and pressing the button for Cynthia's office. "Cynthia… it's Justin... Call 911."

"What? Yes!" Then the line went dead.

Justin crouched between Brian's legs, taking his hands. "You foolish man. I'd have understood if the Titanic has sunk."

Brian sketched a smile, coughing. "It's embarrassing..."

Justin stroked his cheek. "Hey, it's okay. We'll find a way..."

After that, they remained silent until Cynthia and Ted barreled into the office, staring in surprise at their boss. Ted was the first to notice the pills and, after commenting that the campaign for Remsen was over, he realized they were for Brian and started enumerating all the nasty side-effects.

"I've got duct-tape in the top drawer," Brian whispered to Justin.

"Ted, shut up! I'm sure Brian's ashamed enough, without having to listen to you right now. Please leave us alone." Justin begged them.

Cynthia only nodded, pulling Ted out, the accountant continuing to spout facts about Viagra.

While they waited for the ambulance to arrive, Justin tried to remember first-aid lessons… and how to determine if someone was having a heart attack. He was too scared, though, to dig that deep into his brain.

.

.

.

Several hours later, while Justin was pacing up and down in the hospital's waiting room, the doctor arrived with news.

Justin's intention to keep the incident secret was silly, considering they had gossipy friends. Ted had told Blake, who wouldn't have told anyone, but he'd been instructed to tell Michael. Michael had told Emmett and Ben, and just like that the whole family had joined him in the waiting room.

The doctor brought great news, saying that Brian was lucky to have been rushed to the hospital when the first symptoms appeared, or he'd have suffered a heart attack. He had low blood pressure, but they were working on fixing that.

After announcing the good news to everyone, the doctor escorted Justin to Brian's room. Inside the room, he found Brian on his cellphone and imagined Brian had bullied the doctor into allowing him to use the phone.

"Yes, _mom_. Now put him on. And thanks for making him panic that I was dying."

Justin figured he was on the phone with Lindsay. His assumption was proven correct a moment later.

"Hey, Gussy." Brian frowned, raising a hand and gesturing for Justin to join him on the bed. "Yes, kiddo. I'm all right. Your mom is paranoid." Brian chuckled mockingly. "I guess. Well, look, the doc is giving me the stink eye. I'll talk to you later. I'm fine. Just so you know… you can't get rid of your old man so easily."

Wrapping up the conversation, Brian chucked his phone onto the bedside table. "So… what's up, doc?" He looked expectantly at his doctor.

"I told you that you dodged a bullet, Mr. Kinney. Now, we need to discuss the reason why you had to dodge said bullet."

"Joy. Look, when you can't get it up and want to fuck your man ten ways into next week, you need a little help."

The doctor wasn't amused. "So you got under-the-counter drugs."

Brian huffed, his monitor beeping louder as his heart rate increased. "I advertised Remsen's new version of Viagra. He gave me free samples."

"How many did you take?"

"One each day," Brian answered, rolling his eyes.

Justin gasped, staring at his husband in horror.

"For how long?" the doctor asked.

"For five weeks. I stopped when I discovered this cream... It doesn't have the same effect... What? Why are you frowning?" Brian barked.

"Because you can't simply stop taking some drugs, Mr. Kinney."

"I didn't want to become a slave to the blue pill - even if it is as annoying as fuck being unable to get it up, when I used to do it on command."

"Well, you're still young enough for everything to work properly. Have you tried having tests done?"

"Oh, God!" Justin cried out. "What if the cancer is back?"

"It's not. It was the first thing I checked when it happened. Right before you came back from your trip."

Justin looked hurt. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

Brian glanced at the doctor. "My oncologist directed me to a urologist, but I'm sick of doctors. It was clear that age had taken a toll on my body."

"Since I'm not releasing you until Thursday, at the earliest, we have time to run some tests."

"Why do you need to keep me for so long? It's Monday," Brian complained loudly.

"Humor me, Mr. Kinney." He made to leave but then turned to Justin. "If you'd like to spend the night with your husband, we can arrange for a cot."

Justin shook his head. "I'm too upset at him for keeping such an important thing from me. I guess a night apart will help us."

"Justin!" Brian shouted. "It's not like you'll have your queen-out in the guest bedroom… while I'm stuck in the fucking hospital."

"You put yourself here by not talking to me!"

The doctor left the room, reminding Brian to stay calm or he'd risk high blood pressure, which earned him a sarcastic response, "At least it won't be low anymore, huh?"

Once they were alone, Brian folded his arms across his chest, glaring at Justin. "I couldn't very well tell you!"

"I tell you everything! It can't be more mortifying and demeaning than the times I've had to tell you I had diarrhea and that you couldn't fuck me. Don't say it's not the same, because it is just as humiliating!"

"Whatever! It's not like everything would have been unicorns and rainbows if I had told you my dick wouldn't get hard, or stay hard, for that matter."

"Do we need to have that conversation again? We're partners. We're husbands! We talk about our troubles. We'd have figured out something. And if it had come down to Viagra, maybe I wouldn't have been so upset if I'd known why you took it."

Brian snorted. "Only you'd think I took it because I didn't find you hot anymore. See? Words mean shit. Actions speak louder. Me not fucking your tight ass would force us apart."

"That's not what I meant!" Justin threw his hands up into the air. "There are other ways."

"What, you'd give me a prostate massage?" Brian turned his head away, glaring out the window. "Get out of here. I'm done talking about this."

"Of course. You're kicking me out." When he was met with silence, Justin groaned. "Fine! Good night, Brian."

They'd started wishing each other a good night every night, even after the worst of their fights, when they ended up sleeping separately.

"I said, good night!" Justin snapped, moving to stand in front of Brian.

Brian glanced at him. "I heard you."

"Say it back, asshole!"

"Good night, Taylor."

Calling him by his family name meant Brian was beyond upset, as the heart monitor made audible.

Justin stepped closer, cupping Brian's cheek, expecting him to jerk away and grateful when he didn't. Leaning down to kiss Brian, he whispered, "Calm down. I want you alive."

 **oOo**

The next morning, Justin returned bright and early. He had bagels, a mocha for himself, and a tall latte for Brian.

He found his husband in bed, the blanket bundled up on his lap, face flushed red, as the doctor praised the results of the test.

"Morning! How are you feeling?" Justin dropped the breakfast on the bedside table, kissing the top of Brian's head. He ignored the sterile hospital smell, enjoying Brian's unique scent.

"Hard," Brian said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry?" Justin choked out.

"I'm fucking hard, Justin! What part of that don't you get? Been hard for the past hour."

"I told you, Brian, the first erection will only go away after you take care of yourself. Then everything will return to normal."

Justin noticed the doctor had stopped being so formal, but that was common after seeing his husband hard. He had that effect on people.

"I can't fucking touch myself with you people traipsing in and out of my room, staring and cooing like I'm a zoo animal."

"How did it happen?" Justin finally found his voice.

"A miracle from the gods!" Brian snapped. Addressing the doctor, he ordered, "Get the hell out of here so Justin can suck me off! And if anyone else comes in here in the next hour, I'm gonna sue for indecency!"

Justin blushed, throwing the doctor a sheepish smile.

"A handjob should work. I doubt your husband would like to put his mouth anywhere near those wires."

"Get the fuck out of here!" Brian yelled again, pointing at the door.

"I'm trying to instruct your husband on what to do," the doctor explained, unperturbed.

"He doesn't need your secondhand instructions. He's kept me satisfied for over twenty-five years."

Once the unflustered but clearly amused doctor had left the room, Justin locked the door behind him before turning to smile at Brian.

"Stop gloating and come give me a hand before I explode!"

Justin sat at Brian's side, pulling the blanket off his husband's lap. There were two wires attached to the base of his dick. The head was an angry red and slightly swollen, making Justin imagine something had been inserted inside, probably not at all pleasurably.

"Isn't this a thing of beauty?" Justin said cheerfully.

"You can admire my dick later. Now...touch me!"

Justin wrapped a hand around Brian's steel-hard dick, slowly stroking. Brian sagged in relief, moaning. As Justin worked Brian's erection, he caught his husband's eyes.

"So what was the problem?"

"If you promise not to laugh..."

"After all we've been through..."

"Weak nerves... I hadn't used my dick in so long, it forgot how to get hard. The muscles got weaker, or so the doctor told me." Brian threw his head back, grunting. "He tried the nocturnal penile tumescence test, saying it is normal for a man to have five to six erections during sleep, especially during REM – rapid eye movement. Their absence may indicate a problem with nerve function or blood supply to the penis. He said there are two methods for measuring changes in penile rigidity and circumference during nocturnal erection: snap gauge and strain gauge. A significant proportion of men who have no sexual dysfunction nonetheless do not have regular nocturnal erections."

"So you didn't have one… or more last night?"

"They wrapped a cockring… although they called it a gauge...around the base of my dick. Then they attached these wires… and connected me to a machine. A doctor came to check on me after every erection."

"What?" Justin stopped stroking.

"Don't stop, Twat!" Brian cried out. "Anyway, toward morning, they took the thing off and tried the penile biothesiometry test, which uses electromagnetic vibration to evaluate sensitivity and nerve function in the glans and shaft of the penis. Of course, I grew harder. They're sadists… because that didn't stop them. Though, one nurse, bless her soul, brought tissues, telling me to use them."

Justin chuckled, stroking faster.

"To further prove what sadists they can be, when they saw my erection deflating slightly, they tried dynamic infusion cavernosometry. It feels as painful as it sounds. During this, fluid is pumped into the penis at an established rate and pressure. It gives a measurement of the vascular pressure in the corpus cavernosum during an erection. Then came the electromagnetic vibration again… and I couldn't get it to go down." Brian groaned, his toes curling as he got closer. "Doc said there had to be a clog… or some such shit. When I come, it's gonna be nasty, but I'll feel all better."

Justin doubled his efforts, feeling sympathy for Brian's plight. He could tell the handjob hurt him after being hard and overstimulated for so long without any release.

"If you see something odd coming out of my cock, it's the gel they used," Brian breathed out, fisting the bedsheet.

Justin wrinkled his nose at the sight of the yellowish-green substance bubbling out of Brian's slit, along with precum.

"FUCK YES! YESSS!" Brian arched off the bed, cum splashing on his chest, on Justin's face, on their legs. When he was done, he sagged into the pillows, closing his eyes. "Fuck, that was intense."

Justin wiped the odd-looking cum off his face with the sleeve of his sweater. "This means you're okay?"

"We have to work the muscles and nerves... Think we can do it?"

"Brian… we've been fucking more in the past month than we did in the past year!"

"This time without help." Brian reached a hand to cover Justin's on his leg. "Shit! No!" His eyes widened. "Get the doc! He forgot to stop the devil device."

"What?" Justin stared in panic at Brian's contorted face.

"This thing attached to my dick.. it's vibrating again!"

Justin started laughing, pulling the pads off, but it was too late. Brian was at full mast again.

"Up again, so soon, my darling?" he cooed.

"Sometimes I hate you," Brian mumbled.

Justin dove between Brian's legs, sucking him off, ignoring the unpleasant taste from the gel covering his lover's dick.

Two hours later, the doctor joined them again, amused to find the door locked.

Justin tiptoed over to unlock it, pressing a finger to his lips. "He's sleeping," he whispered, slipping out of Brian's room.

"That means he's feeling better?" the doctor asked, his cheeks pinking slightly.

"Several times over," Justin said proudly.

"Good to hear that. We're still keeping Mr. Kinney overnight. We haven't received the results from all his blood tests and, since he's here, it's our job to investigate everything, considering he came in on the verge of a heart attack."

Justin nodded somberly. "Is he likely… to have one?"

"We can prevent it, if we find out he's predisposed. So far, all his tests have come back clean. Your husband is a healthy man, sir."

"We do our best to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Brian's always been obsessed with what he eats and goes to the gym religiously."

"It's all reflected in his results. It's not every day we have patients over fifty escape unscathed from similar situations."

Justin tried to smile, but the enormity of what had happened weighed on him. He could have lost Brian.

"If the problem that caused him to take Viagra persists or recurs, don't hesitate to visit a specialist."

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Anytime. You can spend the day with him, and my offer of a cot is still good." The doctor winked, departing.

Puzzled by how supportive the doctor was, Justin went to the waiting room to call everyone and let them know Brian was okay. He then went home to make lunch, and when he returned to Brian's room, the bed was empty.

Justin was ready to get the nurse on call, when Brian strolled back into the room, looking spooked. He went straight to Justin, burrowing his face into his neck.

"Hey! Everything okay?"

"I had to piss. I forgot this hospital gown doesn't cover my backside."

"The bathroom's right there, between this room and the neighboring room," Justin pointed out, stroking Brian's head.

"There was this ugly man in there who pinched my ass. Then I looked closer… and it wasn't a man!"

"Oh, poor baby! Come here. Sit down. I got you food."

"A woman pinched my ass, Justin!"

"Want me to kiss it better?"

"Do you get off on seeing me abused by ugly women?"

Justin opened his mouth but opted to keep any witty comments to himself. "I made pea soup."

"Yum." Brian carefully removed the Tupperware bowl from the travel bag.

"And there's spinach for the second course," Justin added, pulling out spoons for both of them.

"And your ass for dessert? My favorite." Brian smirked, leaning closer to steal a kiss.

"Actually, dessert… there's no dessert."

"You suck."

"If you're a good boy..." Justin winked, making Brian choke on his spoonful of soup. "Mmmhmm… such an eager boy." Justin eyed Brian's dick stirring under his hospital gown.

"Hmm… apparently everything's working well down there," Brian mused. "Thank God."


End file.
